Grief, Anger, and Leadership
What happens when denial turns to anger?
When dealt an emotional blow that leaves us traumatized, sooner or later, anger rushes to the surface in most everyone. In the workplace, anger can mute the most outspoken associate, drive the extrovert into seclusion, and turn an optimist into a pessimist.
Most angry people need two things…Space and Time
Anger is an emotional wall we throw up. When leaders address anger incorrectly, perhaps too aggressively or without properly thinking it through, they can end up supporting the structure of anger.
In our book, The Dying Art of Leadership, we frequently speak about the power of compassionate communication and the need to express genuine concern for the wellbeing of those on your team.
When sensing hostility in an associate, give them a little time and space first. Sometimes that’s all they need to work it out. If not, approach them with compassion. Don’t expect to instantly solve their problem. Let them get the issue out on the table. That’s what a compassionate leader does…they listen with genuine empathy.
Be a Leader…not a “Manager”
Knowing someone cares goes a long way to cure anger. Anger is not the problem. Anger is the symptom of a problem. An adaptive leader tackles the real problem with the approach of a concerned and compassionate colleague, rather than a superficial manager. Leaders want to get to the real problem. Managers spend their days fixing the symptoms of real problems. Be a leader. Be compassionate. Be vulnerable. Don’t try to authoritatively “manage” someone in a state of anger.
To catch up: Last week we discussed how the symptoms of denial impact productivity in the workplace. Dealing With Denial
Next week we discuss when an emotionally traumatized employee enters the Bargaining phase of grief.
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To learn more about how leaders can help grieving employees excel at work, order your copy of our new book, The Dying Art of Leadership, available at the Bookbaby bookstore website and on Amazon: About Our Book
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